Friday, January 7, 2011

While Cleaning the Bathroom

The following is the internal dialogue occurring while I was cleaning the bathroom this morning.

Man. I can't bend over and clean this floor on my hands and knees. I'm pregnant. Pregnant people shouldn't be on their hands and knees scrubbing the floor.

Yeah... but that chick from The Good Earth plowed a field, gave birth during a potty break, strapped the baby on her back, and milked the cows. Or something like that. That was Pearl Buck, right? Yeah. Her other books were kind of preachy I think. Makes sense though. But I think that woman died or her baby did. I don't want that.

Listen! You can't compare yourself to some Pearl Buck character! You come from tough stock, woman! The women in your family formed the only female sports teams at their pioneer schools. One became the school's principal. They wore PANTS, man... PANTS! You can surely wipe down one bathroom floor.

Sure, but they had to ask their husbands' permission to get hysterectomies when they had those female problems or whatever. I don't have to do that. And no, I don't think that means they wouldn't scrub the floor, but they were pioneer types and and had a trillion children so 5 could live and work the farm. I don't have a farm.

Remember your grandmother?? The one who went out for her morning walk and fell and broke her hip? She figured she could wait until someone found her or get up and walk the half mile back to the retirement home to get help. SHE would have scrubbed the bathroom floor with a toothbrush... well... she did scrub the bathroom floor with a toothbrush.

Let's also remember dear self that she only had one baby and found that too much at times.

You named your first born after a true tough gal. She birthed your grandmother at home along with her 5-6 or whatever surviving children. She did that on her own, and I bet she would have scrubbed the bathroom floor.

Okay but she died in the 1918 flu epidemic. I bet she would have survived too if she rested more. She probably scrubbed her floor and the keeled over right there. Besides, who are you to judge me?

I wonder if my sister-in-law has passed my score in Zuma.

I think I'll just mop the floor with my foot and a wet rag. I'll spray some stuff to make it clean and all.

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